Maintaining yer dignity…

Is it possible? You decide after reading the scenario by selecting from…

1. Retrievable, and I wouldn’t get into that situation

2. Possible, It happened to me, and luckily I knew a good lawyer

3. Irretrievable, I lost not only my dignity but now a large nasty looking gentleman with red skin and horns owns my soul.

Boy (10-12) with his pet goat on leash, USA

Hey so you’ve had a few drinks, don’t we all, ………..whose to judge?

So, you leave the pub and stumble towards home. Half way there you meet an old friend who yer aint seen in ages who has a goat with them, He tells you he’s got out of the rat race and has become a goat breeder, ‘Good for you’, you hear yourself say, with a drunken slur.
Anyhow, your long lost friend says they want to go buy a kebab and could you look after the goat for a moment? ‘Yeah, no worries’, you say, slightly over confidently as you’ve never even been within three feet of a goat in your life.
You’re standing there in street, thinking about your friend and that they always did take a f@*king long time to do anything and that’s probably why you lost contact in the first place, when you feel the urge to pee. You can’t leave the goat and you can see an alleyway about twenty yards away.
‘Sod it’, I’ll take the goat with me’.
Venturing far enough down the alley to disappear into the shadows you wrestle to undo yer trousers but the goats lead is restricting your movement, so you just let your trousers and pants fall around yer ankles which startles the goat.
The goat voices its disapproval by lurching around on the lead. You try to control it by shortening the lead but the bloody animal backs up toward your legs and crotch just as the police car rounds the corner of the alleyway….. its headlights on main beam…..

Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum


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