It’s A Wonderful World, or it would be if we stopped thinking like tenants who don’t give a crap

Say, for the sake of argument, this planet was a small first floor flat.

We’d paid a deposit when we first moved in and fully intended to keep the damn place spic and span.
However, as we moved in, we dropped a bottle of bleach on the hall carpet, bought a rug, and covered the resulting stain with it. Job done, so we forget the carpets ruined.

A few weeks later we clog the sink with some dodgy old stuff we couldn’t be bothered to bag and take down to the garbage cos it was raining……then decide we can live with a sink that takes forever to drain cos plumbers will only cost a fortune. Months pass, we redecorate, and do a bit of rewiring, not as good as it was, cos we thought we knew better……..

I kinda think you get where I’m going with this……. but the point is valid. We’ve trashed this planet and the reasons why are many, complex and often unfathomable, given we sit around on Sunday afternoons spouting how crap it is we’re fucking up the planet….yet it still continues cos, let’s face it, apathy rules..
So, tomorrow, we have to hand the flat back to the owner, but its got a fucked carpet, crappy plumbing, poor decorating and questionable rewiring…Yer reckon we gonna get our deposit back? Er, nope…………………

We think we own this world and of course we don’t. We are a tolerated life form that ultimately has, thank fuck, a finite life span… think elsewise is plain dumb…..Let’s look after this place like it was ours and hand it back better than when we found it………….

Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum


Frank… seven





by Abe & the Elum


The first Frank knew that the little shit of a dog was on his trail was the ticking of the claws on the floor. He could hear it trying to build momentum on the shiny tiling and Frank did not want that dog anywhere near him. He hated dogs at the best of times and this one he had a special pot of loathing for.

Trinket snarled like a spoilt brat gaining on the hapless Frank who was torn between heading for the back door fire escape, or heading into the Gents toilet. He chose the back door figuring he could out pace that little ball of turd once in the back alley way.

As Frank ran down the dingy hallway the smell of the toilets caught his nose and he fleetingly wondered if the toilets were that  bad,what the hell was the kitchen like? Trinket began to gain on Frank who had reached the back door and who was pushing the release bar as hard as possible. The thing had jammed and Frank shoved  violently, cussing as he did so. As he noticed someone had scratched in the paintwork that,’Marcie did good blowjobs’ the door opened and Frank found himself out in the dawn sunshine. He blinked several times before running as fast as he could down the alley way.

Seconds later Trinket was standing  in the doorway of the bar and grill barking fiercely. The creature failed to notice the door slamming back and squealed loudly as its tail was caught between dorr and frame….

Frank was unaware of what had happened as he turned into the main street but was smiling at the thought that that little fuck was obviously in pain…….