Bored at work, as we all get from time to time I thought I’d download a game to my phone. Any game, I genuinely didn’t mind, I just wanted a distraction. So this simple car game pops up. It’s non demanding to say the least, so I figure it’s perfect for whiling away a few moments. Just in case I was about to download the mother of all crap games I thought,’Hey! Why not skim read a few of the reviews?’ So I did.

The first four reviews were from ten year olds and it was their expectations that have prompted this writing.

None disputed the concept of the game, nor did they really mind it’s approach. What they all did comment on to some length was….it wasn’t realistic enough.

Phrases like,’ the backgrounds could have been more realistic and the cars could have had a lot more detail and more realism’ were banded about and were obviously of importance to these game players.

What’s interesting though is the idea that where they are isn’t rea in the first place. It’s not here. It’s in a phone or a laptop, like, technically this article doesn’t exist, in reality it exists only in a computer. 

Yet their demand for realism was ,and is, paramount.

This is given a further twist of weirdness when you watch a lot of the military games. The realism is there in a few, but equally a lot have sanitised the killing. There’s often no blood….so there is already a muted realism.

So what? It’s only a game right?

Yep, it is, but like all of the twisted and intriguing strangeness the Internet has brought us it is maybe a small indication of where we’re heading.

No longer will generations in the not too distant future have just one reality. They will have several.

There are already dating sites you can date as an avatar. There you can be what the fuck you want. Male can be female, female can male and all points in between.

You can travel the world on Google maps and walk cities from the comfort of your living room.

And this is kinda cool yet our grandparents wouldn’t have believed it possible,

it’s all happened so fast.

The demand for realism from these ten year olds is, when you think about it, quite reasonable. The sad part about it is that the real human world they are growing up in is so unstable their demand for a ‘realistic’ alternative becomes immediately understandable.

A world where anything is possible…..and ironically in the real human world, anything still is possible…. We’ve just stopped believing it is.

Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum


Why do we hate?

So……Why do we hate?

It’s not genetic, it’s learnt. Its handed down, like being polite, or knowing cutting yer toe nails means yer shoes fit better. 

So… What’s the point of it?

Nothing at all….it’s a big fat negative that destroys the souls of the people hating and ruins the lives of those on the receiving end. There is no positive to be found, none.

So… Why do we do it?

Yer wanna know? You really wanna know ? Cos it’s far easier to hate than to love. There it’s said. Ain’t that a bummer? 

Yep, the human race has to taught itself to be a destructive bunch of fucks because to love something is a different kind of passion. 

It requires nurturing, like looking after a pot plant, or a kitten. It involves time, effort. 

Hate needs none of this. Somehow, over time humans have developed a direct line straight to the damn source of hate, that lies there just waiting to be picked up and thrown at something.


What am I blathering on about?

Humans should not be defined by a pigment in their skin, nor by what version of a book they read and certainly not by what damn gender, disability or sexual preference they have. All of this is superficial bullshit. 

These differences are nuances of the individual and are what makes each human being so damn interesting and unique.

Hating is a luxury…. And it’s time it went.

Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum

It’s A Wonderful World, or it would be if we stopped thinking like tenants who don’t give a crap

Say, for the sake of argument, this planet was a small first floor flat.

We’d paid a deposit when we first moved in and fully intended to keep the damn place spic and span.
However, as we moved in, we dropped a bottle of bleach on the hall carpet, bought a rug, and covered the resulting stain with it. Job done, so we forget the carpets ruined.

A few weeks later we clog the sink with some dodgy old stuff we couldn’t be bothered to bag and take down to the garbage cos it was raining……then decide we can live with a sink that takes forever to drain cos plumbers will only cost a fortune. Months pass, we redecorate, and do a bit of rewiring, not as good as it was, cos we thought we knew better……..

I kinda think you get where I’m going with this……. but the point is valid. We’ve trashed this planet and the reasons why are many, complex and often unfathomable, given we sit around on Sunday afternoons spouting how crap it is we’re fucking up the planet….yet it still continues cos, let’s face it, apathy rules..
So, tomorrow, we have to hand the flat back to the owner, but its got a fucked carpet, crappy plumbing, poor decorating and questionable rewiring…Yer reckon we gonna get our deposit back? Er, nope…………………

We think we own this world and of course we don’t. We are a tolerated life form that ultimately has, thank fuck, a finite life span… think elsewise is plain dumb…..Let’s look after this place like it was ours and hand it back better than when we found it………….

Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum

‘It’s technology Jim,but not as we know it…’

Technology, we all extol its virtues, and most of the time it’s fab, but, how much of the tech we use is potential junk?


Resale value of most items is poor. This is largely because manufacturers are so proficient at producing new goods. This drives down any chance of recouping anything like yer money back on goods you choose to sell. I know, I’ve tried.

The secondhand market is a fragile place, people are indoctrinated more and more into thinking ‘new’ is best. Regardless of the amount of folk who rattle on about recycling and saving the planet, a large percentage of the population will be found driving new cars, bicycles, using the latest ipads, fones whatever.

Who can blame them? New stuff is cool…even if half it isn’t as fast to boot up as it’s claimed, doesn’t do what it says in the ads, or leaves you frustrated and pissed at the prat who convinced you you wanted it in the shop.

No matter how much we all want to believe to the contrary, we are all so damn gullible, and we don’t even realise. Many now argue they couldn’t live without their mobile, yet up until about thirty years ago countless generations had wandered around the planet perfectly happy, possibly more so than anyone nowadays.
Tech is useful in so many ways but a lack of a power supply means all you have a large piece of plastic in yer pocket, in yer living room, or in yer car.

So, in reality it’s all junk,,,,,It has to be by definition.
Manufacturers produce equipment that, as far as they are concerned, is already ‘old hat’……..for us to assume otherwise is naive. The general public is now a champing seething ground of frenzied buyers who’ll buy the latest ‘something’ purely on the basis that it is, just that, the latest.

So, as Christmas looms, and the adverts start to appear on tv selling stuff, ask yerself this…..What the fuck am I buying it for? Cos I’m part of the feeding frenzy, or cos I truly need it?…..
Hell I aint a Saint, I buy stoopid stuff, but realise,no matter how much you think you’ve bought the latest bit of kit, you haven’t for next week it’ll be out dated and you’ll wanna buy it…..

Don’t perpetuate the cycle…………………………………tech nowadays is junk within a week.

Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum

A Brief Reality Guide To Crisp Flavours


      Fiction                                                                                                      Reality

Flame Grilled Spanish Chorizo with Roasted Onions               Smokey Bacon

Atlantic Sea Salt milled to perfection with a hint of

Balsamic sourced from the hills of Tuscany                                Salt n Vinegar

Icelandic Rich Mature Cheddar blended with pert
Shallots caught fresh from the mountainsides of

Peru                                                                                                                Cheese n Onion

Her Majesty’s finest King Edward potatoes nuzzled
from the soil and wafted with a subtle blend of salt

open cast mined from a Dockers Armpit                                            Plain

Hand Reared Rhode Island Red coaxed into the
oven and cooked with a pack of Sage n Onion

stuffing mix                                                                                               Roast Chicken


Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum

It’s all a game to you innit?

If you look at the top ten computer games to see what they are you’ll find that if you can’t kill it, spy on it, or downright fuck it over on the sports field there will be little other choice. The games now are awesome and getting better with every new release but it’s interesting to look back briefly to see how we’ve arrived at this point.


When the PS1 came out people went bananas, I know I did, It was so different. And here’s the thing, the choice of games was vast. Ok, some of them were iffy to say the least, but the point is cos the technology was so new, the industry could not possibly foresee what would sell. So to cover all bases a blanket approach was taken. This meant there were some oddities that crept in but also it meant we, the consumer, had a huge selection of varying game styles to choose from.

As PS2 was released, along with the Xbox etc, the choice of game that would sell became a little easier to predict. Hollywood used them as an addition to the merchandising for a popular film which was cool.Though the speculative weird little games were not taken up and thus the choice spectrum began to narrow.


By the time we’ve got to where we are now the industry has the market nailed……and the subjects are so predictable. we are talking human beings after all.

So, violence, sex, sport, aliens and cars are what we seem to like best………..well, who’d a thunk it…………….hahahahahaha me, for one!

Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum

Happy……………… a pearl in an oyster.


…….it’s said, ‘Smile and the whole world smiles with you’, whether it’s ‘with you’ or ‘at you’, is debatable, but the maxim is mildly true.
We all can get dragged down by the dumbarse stuff LIFE throws at us, the trick is to realise there are always better times to come. No matter how down you have got, and believe me I have and undoubtedly you have as well, good times pop up in the future. You have to cling to this notion else you will be miserable for your entire existence.

I have a friend who texts me regularly. She constantly rolls like a massive rollercoaster ride from highly motivated and happy to deeply unsure and fed up. Manic Depression? Dunno, I’m not a doctor, and she has been to see ‘people’ who say she really needs to just make decisions and not deviate from them. Point is, no matter how many times we meet and talk and I try to point out….and here’s the thing…………..happiness is a habit……she really thinks I’m joking, but it is a habit, as much is being in a grouchy mood.


Ask yerself this, ‘How appealing and hard is it to see a friend really in an unapproachable mood? For no other reason other than they can’t shake it off……? It’s not good is it? You feel for your friend…….so, apply that question to you ……………………………yeah, kinda makes you wanna be happy don’t it?

Happiness is a damn fine thing……..for fucks sake cultivate it ;like a pearl in an oyster…

Love, peace, and happiness to you…………..

Abe & the Elum