Real-ly

Bored at work, as we all get from time to time I thought I’d download a game to my phone. Any game, I genuinely didn’t mind, I just wanted a distraction. So this simple car game pops up. It’s non demanding to say the least, so I figure it’s perfect for whiling away a few moments. Just in case I was about to download the mother of all crap games I thought,’Hey! Why not skim read a few of the reviews?’ So I did.

The first four reviews were from ten year olds and it was their expectations that have prompted this writing.

None disputed the concept of the game, nor did they really mind it’s approach. What they all did comment on to some length was….it wasn’t realistic enough.

Phrases like,’ the backgrounds could have been more realistic and the cars could have had a lot more detail and more realism’ were banded about and were obviously of importance to these game players.

What’s interesting though is the idea that where they are isn’t rea in the first place. It’s not here. It’s in a phone or a laptop, like, technically this article doesn’t exist, in reality it exists only in a computer. 

Yet their demand for realism was ,and is, paramount.

This is given a further twist of weirdness when you watch a lot of the military games. The realism is there in a few, but equally a lot have sanitised the killing. There’s often no blood….so there is already a muted realism.

So what? It’s only a game right?

Yep, it is, but like all of the twisted and intriguing strangeness the Internet has brought us it is maybe a small indication of where we’re heading.

No longer will generations in the not too distant future have just one reality. They will have several.

There are already dating sites you can date as an avatar. There you can be what the fuck you want. Male can be female, female can male and all points in between.

You can travel the world on Google maps and walk cities from the comfort of your living room.

And this is kinda cool yet our grandparents wouldn’t have believed it possible,

it’s all happened so fast.

The demand for realism from these ten year olds is, when you think about it, quite reasonable. The sad part about it is that the real human world they are growing up in is so unstable their demand for a ‘realistic’ alternative becomes immediately understandable.

A world where anything is possible…..and ironically in the real human world, anything still is possible…. We’ve just stopped believing it is.

Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum

Why do we hate?

So……Why do we hate?

It’s not genetic, it’s learnt. Its handed down, like being polite, or knowing cutting yer toe nails means yer shoes fit better. 

So… What’s the point of it?

Nothing at all….it’s a big fat negative that destroys the souls of the people hating and ruins the lives of those on the receiving end. There is no positive to be found, none.

So… Why do we do it?

Yer wanna know? You really wanna know ? Cos it’s far easier to hate than to love. There it’s said. Ain’t that a bummer? 

Yep, the human race has to taught itself to be a destructive bunch of fucks because to love something is a different kind of passion. 

It requires nurturing, like looking after a pot plant, or a kitten. It involves time, effort. 

Hate needs none of this. Somehow, over time humans have developed a direct line straight to the damn source of hate, that lies there just waiting to be picked up and thrown at something.

So….

What am I blathering on about?

Humans should not be defined by a pigment in their skin, nor by what version of a book they read and certainly not by what damn gender, disability or sexual preference they have. All of this is superficial bullshit. 

These differences are nuances of the individual and are what makes each human being so damn interesting and unique.

IT IS NOT A REASON TO HATE THEM
Hating is a luxury…. And it’s time it went.

Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum

Frank… eight

 

 

FRANK

by Abe & the Elum

 

Frank had lost himself in the maze of streets. He kinda knew where he was as the crow flew, but the way his luck was going his crow was roadkill.

As he walked down the dusty pavements he formulated plan after plan, each one as unrealistic as the last. Finally he happened upon a bank and decided to start from the beginning, If he knew how much he had in his account he would know how far he could run….. while he still had legs.

The result left him chewing over his memory, trying to figure out what the hell he had spent the five thousand on.

The eight hundred he had would get him far enough away to be caught by Eddie, the paper trail would be so obvious. Not even enough money for a decent stroll Frank thought as he folded the notes and placed them in his canvas wallet. He looked around to satisfy himself no one was checking him out and moved off in the direction of home.

He needed time to think. Time to come up with some damn solution that leave him alive and relatively in one piece. He took the dead womans packet of cigarettes from his pocket, took one and lit it. The smoke made him dizzy for a second but the feeling was good…fuck this he thought as he exhaled and drew on the cigarette again, fuck it all, there must be a way out of all this…..

He felt his phone vibrate. He looked a the screen. A message. From Eddie……..FUCK!

TBC…

It’s A Wonderful World, or it would be if we stopped thinking like tenants who don’t give a crap

Say, for the sake of argument, this planet was a small first floor flat.

We’d paid a deposit when we first moved in and fully intended to keep the damn place spic and span.

However, as we moved in, we dropped a bottle of bleach on the hall carpet, bought a rug, and covered the resulting stain with it. Job done, so we forget the carpets ruined.

A few weeks later we clog the sink with some dodgy old stuff we couldn’t be bothered to bag and take down to the garbage cos it was raining……then decide we can live with a sink that takes forever to drain cos plumbers will only cost a fortune. Months pass, we redecorate, and do a bit of rewiring, not as good as it was, cos we thought we knew better……..

I kinda think you get where I’m going with this……. but the point is valid. We’ve trashed this planet and the reasons why are many, complex and often unfathomable, given we sit around on Sunday afternoons spouting how crap it is we’re fucking up the planet….yet it still continues cos, let’s face it, apathy rules..

So, tomorrow, we have to hand the flat back to the owner, but its got a fucked carpet, crappy plumbing, poor decorating and questionable rewiring…Yer reckon we gonna get our deposit back? Er, nope…………………

We think we own this world and of course we don’t. We are a tolerated life form that ultimately has, thank fuck, a finite life span…..to think elsewise is plain dumb…..Let’s look after this place like it was ours and hand it back better than when we found it………….

Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum

Frank… seven

 

 

FRANK

by Abe & the Elum

 

The first Frank knew that the little shit of a dog was on his trail was the ticking of the claws on the floor. He could hear it trying to build momentum on the shiny tiling and Frank did not want that dog anywhere near him. He hated dogs at the best of times and this one he had a special pot of loathing for.

Trinket snarled like a spoilt brat gaining on the hapless Frank who was torn between heading for the back door fire escape, or heading into the Gents toilet. He chose the back door figuring he could out pace that little ball of turd once in the back alley way.

As Frank ran down the dingy hallway the smell of the toilets caught his nose and he fleetingly wondered if the toilets were that  bad,what the hell was the kitchen like? Trinket began to gain on Frank who had reached the back door and who was pushing the release bar as hard as possible. The thing had jammed and Frank shoved  violently, cussing as he did so. As he noticed someone had scratched in the paintwork that,’Marcie did good blowjobs’ the door opened and Frank found himself out in the dawn sunshine. He blinked several times before running as fast as he could down the alley way.

Seconds later Trinket was standing  in the doorway of the bar and grill barking fiercely. The creature failed to notice the door slamming back and squealed loudly as its tail was caught between dorr and frame….

Frank was unaware of what had happened as he turned into the main street but was smiling at the thought that that little fuck was obviously in pain…….

TBC…

Gorgeous Persia – Yazd

Onward and upward,

Tsaritsa Katarzyna  

‘It’s technology Jim,but not as we know it…’

Technology, we all extol its virtues, and most of the time it’s fab, but, how much of the tech we use is potential junk?

Resale value of most items is poor. This is largely because manufacturers are so proficient at producing new goods. This drives down any chance of recouping anything like yer money back on goods you choose to sell. I know, I’ve tried.

The secondhand market is a fragile place, people are indoctrinated more and more into thinking ‘new’ is best. Regardless of the amount of folk who rattle on about recycling and saving the planet, a large percentage of the population will be found driving new cars, bicycles, using the latest ipads, fones whatever.

Who can blame them? New stuff is cool…even if half it isn’t as fast to boot up as it’s claimed, doesn’t do what it says in the ads, or leaves you frustrated and pissed at the prat who convinced you you wanted it in the shop.

No matter how much we all want to believe to the contrary, we are all so damn gullible, and we don’t even realise. Many now argue they couldn’t live without their mobile, yet up until about thirty years ago countless generations had wandered around the planet perfectly happy, possibly more so than anyone nowadays.

Tech is useful in so many ways but a lack of a power supply means all you have a large piece of plastic in yer pocket, in yer living room, or in yer car.

So, in reality it’s all junk,,,,,It has to be by definition.

Manufacturers produce equipment that, as far as they are concerned, is already ‘old hat’……..for us to assume otherwise is naive. The general public is now a champing seething ground of frenzied buyers who’ll buy the latest ‘something’ purely on the basis that it is, just that, the latest.

So, as Christmas looms, and the adverts start to appear on tv selling stuff, ask yerself this…..What the fuck am I buying it for? Cos I’m part of the feeding frenzy, or cos I truly need it?…..

Hell I aint a Saint, I buy stoopid stuff, but realise,no matter how much you think you’ve bought the latest bit of kit, you haven’t for next week it’ll be out dated and you’ll wanna buy it…..

Don’t perpetuate the cycle…………………………………tech nowadays is junk within a week.

Choose yer words wisely,

Abe & the Elum

Frank… six

 

 

FRANK

by Abe & the Elum

 

As Frank rose from his seat he accidentally nudged the table so the cutlery chinked and the table legs scraped loudly on the terracotta tiled floor. The two teenage girls who were sitting next to him stifled giggles and glanced at each other, leaning in to share some secret joke, presumably at Franks expense.
Eddie was watching and that damn dog was still baring those little white bastard teeth. Frank now wished he had eaten his eggs, at least as a condemned man he would have had a last meal.

The door from the kitchen opened and the plump waitress Frank had thought looked mildly like the love child of Marilyn Munroe and John Malkovich entered the dining area carrying a tray of pancakes and maple syrup covered in ice cream. Chewing her now tasteless gum she yelled out,’Who ordered the number fifty seven?’…………

A middle aged couple replied with a muted acknowledgement and the waitress pushed passed Eddie. Trinket snarled at the waitress who berated Eddie about keeping his dog under control.

Frank meanwhile  had slipped unnoticed from his table and was quietly heading for the toilets…..almost within door handle reach Eddie had caught sight of Frank and tutted. He set the little dog down and calmly said to it,’Go get him’………………….

TBC…

Gorgeous Persia – Tehran

I usually do not believe what media say about Iran, but this time it could not be that far from the truth.

It is a safe country, I did not feel threatened at all at any time. Persian people (do not call them Arabs, they are not Arabs) are very hospitable and friendly, but of course you always have to be alerted, like in any other country.

First of all make sure that you sort out your visa in advance and bring €50 just in case if you have to pay for it. Otherwise you will spend a 2.5 hours waiting in the airport just like us.

Bear in mind traffic in Tehran is ridiculous. There are no rules. It is a huge and busy city. Pollution is quite high, most of the time you cannot see the surrounding mountains.

Iran is undeniably not a poor country. People are wealthy and I did not get a chance to see any poor people, like I did for example in  the USA, funny enough.

We were lucky to have such an amazing hosts like my friend and her mum. They took such a good care of us and the mum cooks the most delicious Persian dishes. I have tried to cook some over the weekend, it was not that bad for the first time. Here is the recipe.

•  Make sure that you visit one of the restaurants at the base of mountain Darband – it is full of cheap and expensive restaurant, stalls, young people hanging around etc.
• Markets are always a good idea – try fresh pistachios (heaven), pomegranate, buy some spices, especially saffron, it is an expensive spice and Iran has one of the best.
• Milad Tower is quite exciting thing to do. You are able to see how enormously large Tehran is.
• Āsh soup – thick, winter soup. It contains different types of beans, herbs, meat and etc. And, trust me, you want to try it. I forgot the name of the place but I ate it at the oldest restaurant that serves Āsh soup.
• Valiasr Street – is the longest street in the Middle East, almost 18km long. Good for shopping, and to buy some nuts to take home with you.
• Make sure that you stuff your face with Iranian bread. It is amazing, especially for breakfast. Add some salty cheese or chocolate spread. I managed to eat 8 of them one morning.
• Check out the Tehran Times blog, it is a good source for some local art, fashion and etc.

Onward and upward,

Tsaritsa Katarzyna  

Frank… five

 

 

FRANK

by Abe & the Elum

 

Frank had known Eddie since they were kids but knew he was the type of man who had no time for sentimentality. Given enough money he would no doubt hold his mother by the ankles over the highest bridge in town, drop in her the river below and walk away patting his damn dog.

And then there was the dog.

Frank considered Trinket to be a nasty snappy little shit who would bite yer hand off given half a chance. Age had not mellowed this example of the normally placid breed. Somewhere deep in the dogs pysche was a crazy mad person hell bent on fucking over every damn person they met.

Frank saw Trinket catch his eye. The little four legged fuck baring its teeth at him. Eddie looked over in Franks direction and nodded towards the door. Frank acknowledged Eddie and edged out of his seat…..

TBC…